He said you look like a pirate - small boy's mother to Creed

: think we should go to the bothy?
Creed: whose birthday?

I listened to some Rolling Stones... It was... Well... It was... Well, I dunno, but I didn't like it! - AGA

There are extraordinary things that I can handle - scotch - Davy mishears what scotch says, and starts to write it down before realising

I've just noticed you've got this kind of innovative strap that keeps your bum cheeks together - drunk guy in pub

You've got very archaic writing - Davy to AGA, meaning 'anarchic'

If your mother decides to drop you in the Congo - (another) drunk guy in pub

Well I'm drunk - CJ after 2½ hours at Brittens, and 2 pints

You gingers should be careful in the sun! - woman in shop to a sunburned Creed

I would sleep with old men for a million pounds - scotch

That's your shopping - a tin of energy drink and some bubble mix? That says a lot about who you are - scotch on Creed's shopping basket

That's not a poodle, that's some kind of evil wizard! - CJ

Surely Superman isn't completely iron tough all the time. I mean, he does have soft hands - scotch

It's getting worse by the minute! - drunk bloke, commenting on the performance of Hacksaw Junior, the live band who were playing in the pub

Davy is like a poet laureate. Or a male version of that - CJ, not realising both men and women are allowed to be poet laureate

Do raps have to rhyme? - CJ

I learned something about Indiana Jones from watching the Indiana Jones movies - CJ

CJ: where is spleen? Is he still in rehab?
scotch: no, that's Amy Winehouse

I thought you said water-cress whales - CJ, mishearing 'walk across Wales'

I like to think that in my own way I've contributed to at least one death - CJ

Bar-Berian - Davy makes a 'hilarious' pun on AGA's name

Ruby you're a disaster! - CJ expresses his displeasure with AGA's elderly, incontinent, dog