Fish don't have blood, they have gills - CJ

Who the hell eats a pomegranate? The Queen?! - CJ

It's the McDonald's! - CJ on why kids these days mature so early

It's your gran trying to down a pint?! - CJ mishearing the name 'Grant'

Buses don't kill people - like guns! - CJ

I gotta have a faggot - Dave Gilbert

She's like a goiter on the side of some giant - CJ talking about Cherie Blair

What's a barista, a female paedophile? - CJ

It would be very stress relieving, beating up some actual people - Annie

I'm afraid of Satan! Satan is a legitimate fear - Zoot

Hajo: I ate a bird
AGA: What kind of bird?
Hajo: A grasshopper!
- Hajo gets confused as to quite what a grasshopper is

I think I might have just burned the quotefile - Mods gets overzealous with tending his fire

Am I not sexy enough for you, dog? - CJ

They're my little soapy children - Creed talks about his bubbles

Grundislav: would you kiss your dad?
Mods: No!
Grundislav: I don't mean on the mouth

All platonic hugs should last between 5 and 7 seconds - CJ

A hug to a gay man is a contract - zoot

Homosexuals are gay - Hajo

Five blue cups, sitting on a shelf
Five blue cups, sitting on a shelf
And if one blue cup is stolen by an elf
There'll be four blue cups sitting on a shelf
- CJ's drinking song

Let me see pictures of your mother! - Hajo

Old drunk man in pub, to Davy: Is your name Simon?
Davy: No, it's Davy
ODM, to Zoot: Is YOUR name Simon?
Zoot: No, I'm Sam
ODM to barmaid, joyfully: His name is Sam and his name is Davy!

Oh! Milkybar! - Jake realising the answer to a quiz question about an hour after we'd stopped playing

Gays! - Driver-by shouting at Annie, scotch and Creed, who were dragging a big wooden pallet along the road

How do you speak to a dog? It's like kids isn't it? - CJ

So what you're saying is I'm going to be raped by the sun? - magintz

An apple a day makes the doctor say 'Hey, I've seen you before!' - CJ after one drink

Creed: Tony might not be there. It might be his ice-queen wife
scotch: His ice-cream wife?!

Let's never use a time machine to rape ourselves - Creed

Fui a ayuntamiento con tu madre - magintz trying to say 'I went to town on your mum', but actually saying "I went to the town hall with your mother"

Six for egginess and five for breadiness - Grundislav shares the secret of eggy bread

Mice and humans are not the same thing - AGA

scotch: How many famous programmers can you name?
CJ: Progey McProg?

He was the Fish of last year - scotch referring to Yickle

It's not provocative, it's vomitorious - AGA referring to a blind woman's inappropriately displayed breasts

CJ, wearing a baseball cap with 'ENGLAND' on it: Will this be enough to get into Wales?
Severn bridge toll-booth girl: Yeah, that'll do.

CJ: Where's Hajo?
scotch: He's probably being felt up by a fat man

This is me doing Blowie - Grundislav

Don't forget my gazebo!! - a blind woman in the rugby club in Taff's Well

Is driving EXCITING in America? - CJ

Are we gonna do cocaine now? - Grundislav

It doesn't see your faces! - Hajo scolding his stupid camera

I don't know which is worse - doghair or pubes - CJ

Your mum is confusing - Hajo

You're chain-smoking, darling - woman in film, repeated at least 10 times due to PS2-related craziness

He's hot! - Creed on Richard E. Grant

You've got heavy lashes, you would make a good drag queen - Annie to Grundislav

British terrorists are rubbish - scotch

What's the use of a beach if you can't drink on it? - CJ

Now suck my cock! - CJ, quite loudly, in an Indian restaurant

What is it with Taff's Well? There seems to be a higher twat to non-twat ratio - CJ

That's how we do Indian food in Wales - Indian restaurant waiter to Annie (an Indian)'s complaints about the food

God, that 10-year-old was fat. I mean, less curry, more veg! - CJ

Where is Mongolia? Does it even exist? - CJ

I am wisdomous, I know - CJ

It's too cold for nakedity - CJ

Milk and urine are the same thing - they both come from the bottom of a cow - Grundislav

Mozart didn't do too much genocide though, did he? - zoot

I have a sharp penis - zoot

She had a big kind of staircase in her hair - CJ discussing The X-Files' Gillian Anderson

Gandhi or whatever his name was - CJ confuses Gandhi the pacifist with Genghis Khan, the brutal warlord

Gandhi was a pussy! - CJ

He's not a free spirit, he's a freak! - Annie

Hajo: Good morning, Jake
Jake: Bastard!
- Jake, the morning after we applied shaving foam, a sombrero, and two tubes of toilet tissue to his sleeping head